Monday, August 24, 2015

4 Film Remakes Hollywood Desperately Needs to Produce

It definitely seems like Hollywood mostly depends on Sequels, Prequels and of course, remakes. But damn, we didn't need a Judge Dredd remake (fucking awful), and we probably didn't need a new version of The Karate Kid starring Jade Smith and Jackie Chan. 

Keep in mind however, I'm not against remaking films, just as long as it takes the original and makes it better in someway, With that in mind, I've put together a list of 4 movies that should absolutely be remade, who knows, some of them may be already be in the negotiating process.


You mean to tell me that not one of the same producers who put a stupid Wizard of Oz prequel in a movie theater or anyone who thought a movie based on ANY video game didn't think..."hey, all four Jaws films were huge hits and all became classics, this film and the experience will quadruple if we use the movie technology we have now, as opposed to the technology filmmakers had 30 years ago, anyone down for some guaranteed millions possibly billions?" 

With the insanely popular tv phenomenon Shark Week at this peak of its popularity, what could go wrong? I have this feeling that no producer and director ever had this conversation. But I can always hope....


This is definitely the greatest UFO film ever made, and now it's coming to almost 20 years since it's original release, and what is Hollywood's answer? A f#$king sequel with no Will Smith, c'mon Roland Emmerich (director of the original and sequel) what the hell are you thinking? Challenge yourself to a remake, I know that the technology for that film is still up to today's standards, but hell, you can make a new ending, or change the story even more that, as long as it's just as good as the original, you'll be fine.


A Clockwork Orange made so many moviegoers cringe. Far and away one of the most controversial pieces of film ever made. Instead of all these dumb films like Paranormal Activity and Sharknado 4 and every film that tries to satanically scary, just stop, and make this movie, and honestly, don't change anything unless it's something that will make the film more controversial than it already is.


"And with God as witness I'll never drink lite beer again!"

By inflation, Gone With Wind is the highest grossing film ever produced, but damn, over the last 75 years, not a single remake? And of course the old people will tell you "those dagnabit producers of today couldn't possibly make a better film, those were the good times!" These are the same 75 year old people who can't drive, eat dozens of pills everyday, and are too scared to live the house. 

Why are we taking our P's and Q's from people like that huh?.....HUH? -EE

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