Wednesday, November 4, 2015

Texas Man Stabs Roommate Over the Last Piece of Fried Chicken

You think he looks bad? you should see the other guy!

Col. Sanders invented his recipe of delicious fried chicken with 11 herbs and spices, but he never meant for the 12th ingredient.....murder. We got an exclusive interview with the Colonel right after this article!

HOUSTON,TX - Darwin Gonzalez, is dead. And for what? Fried fucking chicken. However, Cubans do make chicken that is to die for I suppose.

According to Houston Police, Reinaldo Cardoso Rivera has been charged with murder. Gonzalez, Rivera and three other men, all believed to be of Cuban descent, were enjoying a delicious Texas-style fried chicken dinner along with adult beverages when Darwin Gonzalez did the unthinkable, and grabbed the last piece of chicken without saying a word!! 

Reinaldo Cardoso Rivera became very angry over his roommate's selfishness and got into a heated argument with Gonzalez, that was likely in Spanish. The dispute spilled into the parking lot outside of the building and eventually came to blows. 

However, the fight quickly ended after Rivera stabbed Gonzalez likely with the same knife he used to cut the chicken. What started out as a good time with food and drinks turned into a nightmarish disaster. 

Rivera is being held in lieu of 28,000 pieces of white meat chicken. We got an exclusive interview with Colonel Sanders to shed some light on this developing story.

EE: Colonel, thank you for taking the time to explain what drove a man to murder over chicken?

CS: Who the fuck is this calling me at 2:38 AM, how did you get my number?

EE: Colonel, could you give us your side to the Texas Chickenleg Massacre?

CS: Colonel? Are you fucking kidding me, I appeared in only one commercial as Col. Sanders a few years back, the real Colonel died almost 25 years ago you asshole (background crying noise), great now you woke up my fucking kid!.... My lack of work, my divorce and now this stupid shit. You gotta be fucking kidding me!

EE: No sir, Mr. Sanders, a young man was killed tonight over your enthusiasm for delicious chicken. According to your Twitter account, you support delicious finger-licking chicken to the highest extent!! But, does your support also include....murder?

CS: I don't know who you are, or how you got this number, but I swear to God, I am going to find you and shove a lead pipe up your ass....(dial tone).

EE: Thank you again Colonel, for taking the time to speak with us. 


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