Wednesday, March 2, 2016

Cinema Authority: The Witch

Some films disappoint you, but The VVitch will literally cause you to go ask the theater jockeys for your money back. 

What's even worse, is that I've lost a ton of respect for top film critique website Rotten Tomates, whom awarded this ghastly collection of stupidity an 89%, oh and by the way, RT is owned and produced by Time Warner and Warner Brothers, so it's not the free-mined site we've all come to accept it as. Corporate Chowhounds!!!

Image result for the witch

The problem with today's big budget horror movies is that they often use too much CGI, and every film has a number of similarities between them: the jump scare, the ridiculous monsters, the chanting background music and a few others. They just aren't scary. 

In fact, a whole new genre of film has been created (horror-com) where the movie is as much a comedy as it is a horror flick - stupid!

The Witch was terrible, I don't know how this film developed so much hype, with some headlines saying "this is the scariest film in 30 years" or "this is a horror film unlike any we've ever seen."

The only thing scary in that movie theater was the cost of small bag of Tostitos and a cup of melted cheese which they define as nachos and charge $11,00 for. 

Here is the final call on The Witch.......



  1. Haha... thanks for saving me 90 mins

  2. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    1. Yes, but how will I get MY 90 minutes back!!!