Thursday, March 17, 2016

MTV's Teen Mom 20 Years From Now

Since 2009, four 16-year-old girls have had their lives carefully documented and scrutinized by the media, and on their hit reality shows 16 and Pregnant and Teen Mom. We all watched as the girls went from unknown white trash floozies, to e-list celebrities and reality show phenoms. There seems to be something about the dramatic adventures of four girls and the lives they lead after becoming pregnant in their teenage years that has had millions of viewers intrigued. With that being said, let's take a theoretical look at the cast 20 years from today.

After FARRAH ABRAHAM's messy divorce from Rob Kardashian (her fourth marriage), Abraham releases Backdoor Teen Mom Vol. 13. She would later say that she felt sexually harassed in the video and needs to go on VH1's Couple's Therapy, (which surprisingly enough is still on television) to recover. Meanwhile, ABC still continues to deny her request to appear on Dancing with the Stars or The Bachelorette, she's also a full-fledged employee at the Moonlite Bunny Ranch in Las Vegas.

Image result for farrah abraham momFarrah Abraham's mom DEBRA DANIELSON finally reaches 10 followers on Twitter but later finds out that she will require a facial transplant after permanent damage is incurred during her 12th facelift surgery. According to very reliable sources, she shattered her face trying to "break the internet." And if that's not sad enough, SOPHIA ABRAHAM (Farrah's daughter) is set to star in 16 and Pregnant Version 15.

Image result for ryan edwards dumb
Much to Maci's dismay, RYAN EDWARDS continues to not give a fuck about what Maci says or does, or just about anything else for that matter.

Image result for teen mom catelynnCATELYNN LOWELL and TYLER BALTIERRA still continue to fight the adopted parents of their first child for custody rights even though their daughter is now 20-something years old, and isn't legally bound by any adoption laws. Besides that, the two continue to reflect on their incredible victory over poverty even though they've never actually accomplished anything and are now broke and utterly useless.

AMBER PORTWOOD is back in prison after attempting to rob a Citgo gas station with a book of matches (heroin is a powerful drug). Oh yeah, and she's still with that creepy older guy who's around 60 years old and is getting ready to retire from the job he's never had. 

After a successful career, which included a multi-platinum rap album, a top-rated talk show and a successful line of his own snack treats which he calls Shirley Delicious Cupcake Company, GARY SHIRLEY puts on another 250 pounds and finally decides to get double gastric bypass surgery, the only problem is, is that in order to transport him to the hospital for the procedure, a construction crew has to knock down a wall of his house from the outside to get his hippo-friendly fat-ass out.


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