Friday, March 4, 2016

Subway Jared is On His Way to Becoming Fat Again While Serving Prison Sentence

Jared Fogle, the despicable, disgraced low-calorie sub eatin' bastard, who rose to fame after losing 245 pounds has traded his Subway diet for prison snacks.

The sandwich-peddling pedophile has reportedly put on 30 pounds since he started his 16-year prison sentence. A prison insider has said that Fogle will eat up to 8 honey buns in one sitting, often multiple times a day. Fogle also purchases many other pastries from the prison commissary on his weekly shopping day.

The overeating may be due to the fact that the former turkey sandwich selling shitface is reportedly not having a good time in the big house. Fogle is often called a "dirty child rapist" as well as his given nickname "Chomo."

One day whilst in prison, Fogle decided to try to defend himself, a decision he would regret. As a result of the argument, Fogle was slapped across the face several times. Jared just stood there fazed, then he ran out of the gym.

We'll check back with Jared down the road. -EE

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