Tuesday, April 18, 2017

4 Signs That the Apocalypse is Definitely on Its Way

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Most people, religious or non, believe in the possibility of an apocalypse. Besides the Sun evaporating all life on Earth some time within the next 3.4 billion years, many believe the Earth is due for an E.L.E. (extinction level event) of some sort which could greatly hinder or destroy life on Earth as we know it. Whether it's a giant wave, nuclear war or natural disaster, here are 4 signs, the Earth is probably headed in that direction.

1) "Chewbacca Mom" has made over $500,000 since her viral video debuted.

Why the hell did Mark Zuckerberg fly her out to Facebook headquarters so he could personally meet her?

The "Chewbacca Mom" video was easily the stupidest and most-unfunny video I have ever seen. Nevertheless, this mindless masterpiece has earned the video's creator more than $500,000 in cash and gifts.

This moron made more money over the last 12 months than the average surgeon and general physician combined.

The $500,000 in cash and gifts include: personal appearances, autographs, college scholarships, free trips and many other expensive rewards.

If you're looking for the aformentioned video, understand I will NEVER post that garbage on this site.

2) McDonald's recent announcement that they will now use fresh meat

McDonald's has proudly declared that starting in Mid 2018, the fast-food corporate monster will begin using "fresh meat" for their Quarter Pounders with Cheese. Which begs a few questions.....

First, the question posed in the photo above, and second, if the fresh meat is only for the Quarter Pounders, what is the meat for: the hamburgers, cheeseburgers, McDoubles, double cheeseburgers and Big Macs made from, and how old is it, if it isn't "fresh?"

3) Donald Trump is the freakin' POTUS!!

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What happens when you get a big mouth media personality and an overrated, gravely dishonest and over-experienced Democrat one-on-one in the Presidential election? You get Donald Trump as the new President of the United States.

Need I say more?

4) The world's first head transplant is scheduled to take place this year (2017)

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This is Valery Spiridonov, Spiridonov suffers from a rare condition called Werdnig-Hoffman Disease which breaks down his muscles and nerves in his spinal cluster making it impossible for him to stand or walk.

Spiridonov has been given an opportunity to participate in one of most groundbreaking medical experiments in human human history. World renown neurosurgeon, Dr. Sergio Canavero will attempt to fuse Spiridonov's head to another body. This has NEVER been attempted. This will be the result of 30 years of research and beside Canavero, will require over 150 other doctors and surgeons. The procedure will take approximately 30 hours to complete.

The meat and potatoes: I hope you've got earthquake insurance no matter where you live...

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